Staying Positive in a Negative World

Ey look who’s back! If you’re new to TheFabZilla, Weekly Chitchat is our mid-week break from all things makeup. In here, I invite you to speak your mind or talk from the heart. It’s when you and I touch-base with life’s realities. Harsh, enigmatic, sad, victorious, whatever state you are in now, know that life is never perfect but we can always make it better.

Notice the absence of “How to” in my title? It is deliberately withheld because nobody holds THE key to a positive life. You can read countless self-help books and attend numerous peer support group sessions, yet at the end of the day, you’re still the same Debbie Downer who organizes pity parties or Negative Nancy who makes anybody’s life damn miserable. Reality is, you can’t be Miss Positive 100% of the time.

See I’m not here to speak like Deepak Chopra or motivate you ala- Maya Angelou. I am just me. Like you and the rest of humanity, I have been surrounded by negative people and circumstances all my life. I stumbled many times, cried a river, was ridiculed and betrayed. But I fought back real hard, not in a mighty- physical-hair-pulling-kind-of way but rather creatively. Or better yet, in a manner totally unexpected. If life gives you lemon, don’t just make lemonade. Have some varieties: lemon pie, lemon jam, lemon chicken, lemon face scrub, etc. When one door closes, multiple windows may open. Somebody’s loss is someone else’s gain. And please, don’t expect change to happen if you won’t change anything.

Easier said than done. It takes a great amount of maturity to achieve optimism amidst adversities. So point-blank, how do you thrive in a shit-hole?

Maybe we can learn a thing or two from this frog.

Ever heard of the frog race story? One day, a group of tiny frogs organized a running competition. The goal is to reach the very top of a tall tower. Bigger frogs and all sorts of animals gathered around the contestants not exactly to cheer but question the ability of these tiny frogs. Hecklers, jerks, trolls! “It’s way too difficult, nobody will make it”. “You’re just a frog”. “That tower is too high, you’re so tiny!” One by one, those poor little frogs start to fall, either they got tired or they just gave up completely. Except for one. After long tedious hours, this frog made it to the top!

And the reason? teeny-tiny frog turned out to be deaf!!!

The lesson here is pretty basic. Negativity is contagious. Pessimism steals your bright potential. So if you need to ignore and detach yourself from negative friends, relatives, colleagues, etc. by all means, just do it! You deserve a happy, drama-free life. Mark my word: they will rot while you continue to shine.

It’s your turn to speak. How do you stay positive?




  1. March 12, 2014 / 12:37 pm

    🙂 I stay positive by surrounding myself with positive people!

  2. March 12, 2014 / 2:57 pm

    Love this post. Negativity is so contagious and easy to drag you down. Like they say 'Misery loves company' . I find that music helps keep things positive. Particularly the new Pharrel song from Dispicable Me. Lol

    • March 13, 2014 / 4:58 am

      LOL on Pharrel!! Negativity gives nothing but headaches and troubles. It's hard to veer away from it completely but if there's a will, there's a way.

  3. March 12, 2014 / 4:03 pm

    Thank you for a beautifully positive message and NOT blowing a bouquet of flowers up my ass. The more I read your blog, the more I love it. I am becoming a true addict. 🙂

    • March 13, 2014 / 5:01 am

      Oh my! thanks much! just keeping' it real sista. I don't believe in the adage "kill them w/ kindness" because (1) there are people who love to take advantage (2) the kindest people have a tendency to be more stressed than the average because they carry all the shit-load that aren't even theirs.

  4. March 12, 2014 / 6:18 pm

    What a good message. It can be difficult to remain positive in the midst of negative people and circumstances…but, I believe that your life is what you make it. So, trying to remain positive can make the best of any situation.

    • March 13, 2014 / 5:02 am

      Yes, life is what we make it. People can't keep blaming others for their misfortunes.

  5. March 12, 2014 / 6:42 pm

    I try to stay positive, but I'm a natural born realist. That usually leads to negativity … 😉

    • March 13, 2014 / 5:03 am

      At least you're not in the state of denial like some people do! xo

  6. March 12, 2014 / 8:55 pm

    The mind is such a powerful thing for good or bad, and I had to train mine to think positively. A book that really helped me in this area is "Learned Optimism: How to Change Your Mind and Your Life" by Martin Seligman. I'm a very positive person now:-)

    • March 13, 2014 / 5:05 am

      That's great to know Lulubelle! It's like looking at a half-full or half-empty glass. Either way, it's still half. We become what we perceive.

  7. March 12, 2014 / 10:11 pm

    Great post, on a day that I'm definitely feeling a little Debbie Downer-ish!! I know tomorrow will be brighter! <3

    • March 13, 2014 / 5:07 am

      Amen! It's ok to cry or be sad about things but at the end of the day, a person shouldn't wallow in self-pity.

  8. March 12, 2014 / 10:22 pm

    What a terrific, eloquently written post. You are an awesome woman. I too consider myself a positive individual, I adhore drama and stay away from negative people as that only breeds negativity. This was not achieved overnight, you are the master of your own destiny, and as my wise mother would say — we all have options in life, you could choose to rise above adversity and take the high road, or you can wallow in self-pity…… Thanks again! xoxoxo

    • March 13, 2014 / 5:12 am

      Many mahalo's Nathalie. I am glad that we share the same principle. I used to have a very negative boss who only sees mistakes. One time I used this frog story in a presentation. While my colleagues got the message right on-point, he ridiculed me by saying that this kind of "sweet talk" is detrimental to people who refuse to listen to constructive criticism. Note, there was no mention of constructive criticism in the story, only hecklers! Long story short, I realized that I will not be happy working w/ him so I left the company!

  9. March 12, 2014 / 11:05 pm

    I stay positive by trying to make my positivity contageous. I'm the girl that always wants to cheer up Debbie Downers and Negative Nancys to get them out of that state 🙂

  10. March 12, 2014 / 11:12 pm

    Love this message! It's important to remember to stay positive.

  11. March 13, 2014 / 1:32 am

    Great story. Negativity breeds more negativity! I think I needed to hear this today! Thank you!

    • March 13, 2014 / 5:14 am

      Thanks Laura. Every once in a while, it's nice to read/hear things outside makeup

  12. March 13, 2014 / 2:08 am

    I try to think about the positive things in my life to remember it's not all bad 😉

  13. March 13, 2014 / 5:17 am

    I really like that frog story! I'm going to start telling it

  14. March 13, 2014 / 5:30 am

    I try to appreciate the little things in life like the sun being out or getting to see my family.

  15. March 13, 2014 / 5:45 am

    I imagine living in beautiful Hawaii helps! Truthfully, sometimes a good pity party (table for one!) helps – but set a time limit and then move on. And, pity parties always have ice cream, which also helps!

    • March 16, 2014 / 6:02 am

      I agree. It's ok to cry and feel sorry, it's but human nature. But to be stuck in a rut of the same shit over and over is something else. Btw, add chocolate cake to that ice cream :-)))

  16. March 13, 2014 / 8:54 am

    It's very important to stay positive it what seems to be such a negative world.

  17. March 13, 2014 / 6:09 pm

    Love this post! I spent way too many years being dragged down by negative nelly's, but there is truth to the adage that you must surround yourself with positive people. My mom is super negative, so I have learned to deafen my ears – just like that little frog!

    • March 16, 2014 / 6:00 am

      Same here! My mom is the mother of negativity but that doesn't mean I am too. I choose my battles and at my age now, I'd rather be in the company of few people w/ positive attitude than be surrounded by all these negative forces.

  18. March 14, 2014 / 10:03 pm

    I agree with you. When someone is constantly negative, it is completely draining.

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