So how many lipsticks do you have in your purse? As. In. Right. Now. 2, 3, 5, 8, 10? Call it a Lippy Phenomenon but isn’t it crazy to find your beloved lipsticks unwillingly migrating to your purse? Front pocket, side pocket, inside pocket, makeup bag. If only they could scream, I bet you they’re swearing now like waddafaq woman!!!!
For today’s chit-chat, let’s talk about what you and I might have in common; what (ab)normal people don’t seem to understand; or why guys never get it. Of course when I say (ab)normal, I pertain to humanoids outside our norms. And with norms, I mean “guilty of possessing three or more lipsticks or I’m dead”.
But who’s to blame? Bloggers who enable you with their reviews? Youtubers who show and tell? Companies who bombard you with collections season after season? How many more nudes, reds, and pinks you and I must own? Don’t ask me, I’m guilty as charged.
You see lipstick is my instant perk-me-up ally. When I want smokey eyes, you guess I’m wearing neutral. When I want a barely-there eye makeup, red lipstick is no-brainer. When I look haggard, I reach out to bright pinks. What you see me wearing in the morning isn’t exactly the same shade or lipstick I wear after lunch. It’s not being fickle-minded, I call it my emergency kit.
So what if we have varying shades of pink, red or nude in our bag, God knows these clueless humanoids will thank us later.
I think this obsession with lipstick was influenced by my long-demised grandma. I remember growing up, I used to play with her lipsticks. She always looked good, what with her perfectly-coiffed hair and luscious red lips. That’s why it wasn’t a surprise that the very first item I bought with my very first salary was a MAC lipstick . I was so elated I can afford MAC (we are talking mid 90s gurl, haha).
Over the years, I’ve earned quite a reputation, lipstick-wise. I’ve had encounters with (ab)normal humanoids who (1) laugh with this obsession (2) gasp when they see I have at least five in my purse (3) backstab yet had the nerve to ask “can I try your Estee Lauder?”. Yeah the nerve.
But if there is one lipstick story that went down in memorylandia, that would have to be the fateful EXECOM (executive committee) meeting. It was in the mid-2000, our company president was hella mad with the very low sales turnover of the team. He was questioning each manager at the top of his lungs (mind you, I’m not kidding). When it was my turn to be interrogated, his angry mood suddenly changed and had this to say “I am distracted by your shiny lips, I can’t talk anymore”. Everyone laughed and clapped. I blushed and in true divaness attitude, I stood up and said, you have to thank these lips people! Wanna know the prophetic lippy that saved these humanoids’ asses? Duwop Lip Venom. If you’ve tried it, you know It stings so bad but wins in the shine and plump department.
So there ladies and gents, the next time you see a woman suffering from this so-called Lippy Phenomenon, don’t dare laugh or question her because she could be the next Messiah.
|moi in Givenchy Le Rouge 312 Violine Precieux|