So how many lipsticks do you have in your purse? As. In. Right. Now. 2, 3, 5, 8, 10? Call it a Lippy Phenomenon but isn’t it crazy to find your beloved lipsticks unwillingly migrating to your purse? Front pocket, side pocket, inside pocket, makeup bag. If only they could scream, I bet you they’re swearing now like waddafaq woman!!!!
For today’s chit-chat, let’s talk about what you and I might have in common; what (ab)normal people don’t seem to understand; or why guys never get it. Of course when I say (ab)normal, I pertain to humanoids outside our norms. And with norms, I mean “guilty of possessing three or more lipsticks or I’m dead”.
But who’s to blame? Bloggers who enable you with their reviews? Youtubers who show and tell? Companies who bombard you with collections season after season? How many more nudes, reds, and pinks you and I must own? Don’t ask me, I’m guilty as charged.
You see lipstick is my instant perk-me-up ally. When I want smokey eyes, you guess I’m wearing neutral. When I want a barely-there eye makeup, red lipstick is no-brainer. When I look haggard, I reach out to bright pinks. What you see me wearing in the morning isn’t exactly the same shade or lipstick I wear after lunch. It’s not being fickle-minded, I call it my emergency kit.
So what if we have varying shades of pink, red or nude in our bag, God knows these clueless humanoids will thank us later.
I think this obsession with lipstick was influenced by my long-demised grandma. I remember growing up, I used to play with her lipsticks. She always looked good, what with her perfectly-coiffed hair and luscious red lips. That’s why it wasn’t a surprise that the very first item I bought with my very first salary was a MAC lipstick . I was so elated I can afford MAC (we are talking mid 90s gurl, haha).
Over the years, I’ve earned quite a reputation, lipstick-wise. I’ve had encounters with (ab)normal humanoids who (1) laugh with this obsession (2) gasp when they see I have at least five in my purse (3) backstab yet had the nerve to ask “can I try your Estee Lauder?”. Yeah the nerve.
But if there is one lipstick story that went down in memorylandia, that would have to be the fateful EXECOM (executive committee) meeting. It was in the mid-2000, our company president was hella mad with the very low sales turnover of the team. He was questioning each manager at the top of his lungs (mind you, I’m not kidding). When it was my turn to be interrogated, his angry mood suddenly changed and had this to say “I am distracted by your shiny lips, I can’t talk anymore”. Everyone laughed and clapped. I blushed and in true divaness attitude, I stood up and said, you have to thank these lips people! Wanna know the prophetic lippy that saved these humanoids’ asses? Duwop Lip Venom. If you’ve tried it, you know It stings so bad but wins in the shine and plump department.
So there ladies and gents, the next time you see a woman suffering from this so-called Lippy Phenomenon, don’t dare laugh or question her because she could be the next Messiah.
Bow.
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| moi in Givenchy Le Rouge 312 Violine Precieux |
Kathryne
Lol! I've met humanoids who have had the nerve to ask me the same thing. I generally see red. Meanwhile which is that white lipstick tube? It looks gorgeous!
Boo to humanoids and yay to us lippy lovers!!! lol
You're quite funny. Definitely a good read. And you're right, my boyfriend will never understand why I have 10-15 lipglosses or lipsticks in my purse at one time. Heck, I'm not even sure I understand it.
Hi Becca. Thanks for stopping by. So what makes a boyfriend a husband material? when he finally accepts the makeup/ lipstick addiction, haha!
Ohmygosh I LOVED that work story!! I actually don't carry lipstick in my purse unless I'm out on date night or girls night with a full face of makeup. I really should start wearing lipstick on a daily basis!
Hello my gorgeous friend Tina. Can I be your enabler for today? I say wear lipstick all the time, haha!
I cracked up at your story almost as hard as the meme! LOL! DuWop to the rescue!
hahaha, did Gollum inspire you today? #nofillter
I wonder where the hell is DuWop now…..
I'm a total lipstick addict. Over the years, I must have amassed over 500. Easily. If it's more, I don't want to know. I fell in love with lipstick when I was a little kid – and then I found that lipstick a few years ago – what was my mom thinking? I wrote about it here, if you're interested!http://www.gouldylox.com/2010/01/adventures-in-beautyland-lipstick-that.html
Hello Kelly! I like the term AMASSED! it's like an ill-gotten wealth by a politician, haha! I will definitely check your post, you know you're one of my fave bloggers!
I'm right there with you, Kath. I used to be all ashamed about having too much makeup, because your average janes and joes might think I'm vain and shallow. Now I embrace it and proudly display my collection, after all, they're the ones missing out 🙂
**Applause and throws confetti** Preach it Anastasia! We don't do harm to humanoids so let's continue to entertain them, haha!
I totally get your lippie obsession. Lipstick is my favorite makeup. Cheers!
Yes, lipstick and pho for the win Judy!
I love that your company president was too distracted by your lipstick to continue his yelling. That's a good lipstick to keep in your purse just in case.
LOL. It was embracing then but very funny overall!!!
I have received those humanoid reactions as well, and have learned that when rummaging for lippy it is best not to pull them all out of the handbag at once. For the record it appears that I currently have 11 lip colours and 3 additional lip balms hiding out in there. No make that 12 and 3. The Stila compact is one of their cheek/lippy double-taskers. And true, I could probably put a few of those back in the vanity….. But you know, let's not call it "suffering" from the phenomenon so much as "being enlightened by the power of a good lipstick" because your story proves that even for non-lippy-wearing individuals, it can still have quite a dramatic impact on the quality of their day. 😀
Amen!!! Wow, you won for today's tally of lipsticks!!!! LOL. And the funny thing is, we wonder what happened to our lippies only to discover them stashed shamelessly in our purse!!!
Why don't they understand??? 😉 I love this post, good work!!!
because they are humanoids, haha! Thanks for stopping by Kate!
You just cant go wrong with lipstick, it's so fun! And how many do I have in my bag right now? Just two!!!
True that!!!Lipstick is my dope!
I'm right there with you with the lippy obsession. Before I got into makeup I had a million glosses.
My ESP was right, you had gazillion more. But cheers to us lippy obsessed gals!
Ha ha! You got me to actually laugh out loud, and I mean really, not just type LOL with a straight face! That's a great story. 🙂
LOL! Thanks so much. Glad I made you laugh hard. More funny stories to come sissy!
I don't own nearly enough lippies. Tragically few look truly GOOD on me so I see no point in buying them, just to have them. I am a freak of nature, I only have one lipstick or gloss in my bag, at a time. I carry the one in current use. When I get home, I take it out of my bag and put it away. The next time I go out, I put that day's lippy in use in my bag, rinse and repeat. Told ya… Freak.
Hahaha. You are one gorgeous freak with several bright pink lacquers to boot. Now our world is even.
This is the most fabulous blog post/makeup article I have ever read, hands down. I too am a slave to this phenomenon. I find myself buying the same shades of pinky-nude and fuschia in every brand and formulation possible. Then I feel the desperate NEED to cart them all around in my purse. Because, you know, I need them….
Thanks for stopping by. I figured, life is too short not to satisfy our lil guilty pleasures. More stories of eccentricities next time, haha!
I love the lipstick in that last pix. MMM! I have at least 10 in my purse now, and I'm always trying to cull down.. but then a few more sneak into my bag! I have a serious obsession with all things lippy…but I usually pass on the pale ones.
That's so nice to know Nidia. I know there is a planet out there for lippy-obssessed women.
So I went and counted, I currently have 13 lippy's in my purse. Oh dear.
I am not surprised my Angela! LOL. So we are one in the same boat. Cheers!
I love this!! I'm a sucker for the same shades that I buy over and over again. Nothing like a big lippy collection 🙂
And being a blogger turned us to hoarder, haha!
Gorgeous dah-ling! 🙂 Love the story! Too funny!
LOL. Free to laugh and….. fart. haha! Thanks for stopping by Laura. xo
Love it!!!! My Grandma gave me my love for red lipstick too!
Don't we all love our grandma? They're the best!!!!
Love it! I got my love of red lipstick from my Grandma too.
I buy the same shades over and over because I see those minute differences and then need them. It doesn't matter who else sees them as long as I do!! And you too.
True that Marcia. Only a hardcore lippy lover knows the difference between a neutral and nude, haha!
I never wore lipstick until senior year of high school, and I never looked back. Although I do try to keep the ones in my purse limited to the one i'm wearing that day– since my purse is notorious for swallowing makeup never to be seen again!
LOL, those unexplainable hole in our purses, tell me about it! Coins, lippies, hair ties, they're hiding somewhere in the hole!
Pretty shade