Forgiveness In The Eyes of A Once-Scorned Woman

I have been meaning to write this post for quite a while to some of my friends who are going thru heartbreaks, separation, divorce, deceit, and other problems that tested one’s patience, faith, and confidence. Not that I am a poster child for Ms.Optimism. Let’s just say that I’ve experienced having been deceived too, all in the name of that stupid thing called L-O-V-E. Yep, this FabZilla is a reborn of a once-emotional scorned woman. 

How do you forgive? That’s the toughest question I always get from close friends who are in the initial stages of grief (there are 5 ~> Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, Acceptance. I will touch on these in a separate post). Regardless of the cause of your anger or hatred, forgiveness is inevitable. It takes times, some faster, most longer. But trust me, it will happen in its most natural state. With age comes experience. With experience comes wisdom. These are the things I have learned in life about the whole meaning of FORGIVENESS.

Forgive but don’t forget. This mentality holds true to all my experiences, friendship included. I have a big heart but my mind is bigger. Fool me once or twice I’d forgive you. Use me thrice I’d understand you. Do it again you won’t hear from me ever. Forgive the person but don’t forget the lesson and wisdom you have gained from it.

Forgiveness doesn’t necessitate communication to the person who wronged or hurt you. Real forgiveness comes from the heart. Move on, close the book and start with a new chapter. Don’t wish anything evil or bad to that person and your life will be blessed multi-fold. As the adage goes, vengeance isn’t ours. I have always believed in God’s might.

Forgiveness means looking past the person’s mistakes and starting anew. If you chose to give this person another chance, refrain from scratching that old wound or it will never be healed. Reliving the moment of deceit or constantly nagging your partner is a recipe for disaster. Nobody but you decided to give this relationship another lease in life.

Forgive yourself. In fact the first step towards forgiveness is to accept that you made a mistake, and that you failed. It happened because you are not perfect, who is anyway? You cannot control certain situations but you can manage your reaction. 

Remember this ~ you may not always have a happy ending but you can create a happy beginning…..

No drama queen here.
The first “F” you sign, hahaha.
Be strong, girl! The future is bright.

xoxo

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1 Comment

  1. December 11, 2014 / 11:21 am

    I have been down this same path, have lived through those same stages, I have forgiven but not forgot. How does one learn to trust again, to let down and let someone in? That shell around my heart-when will that melt away- or will it be there forever? Does true love exist? To be the center of someone's world is not too much to ask is it? If people realized that their actions change the lives of everyone around- maybe this world would be a better place. Thank you for writing this!

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